Jul 1, 2003

naaawa ako kay Bullit.. kanina naiiyak na siya coz ang laki ng ipinagbago ko.. Promise ko na naman sa kanya yon na di ko na siya sasaktan physically. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ako nanghahampas or nanununtok na lang bigla. I'll try talaga na iwasan na paluin siya. Minsan kasi parang biglaan na lang tapos ang reason ko sa kanya eh sinaktan mo kasi ako dati.

syet! natatakot ako na malaman nila Victor yung tungkol sa amin.. sana maintindihan nila. Siguro.. kami talaga eh. Sana maintindihan lang nila.
Parang tinatamad akong gumawa ng thesis.
hay! nagkita kami kanina.. this past few days, medyo ok na kami.
Of course, napag-usapan na namin kung anong tayo namin. Di pa rin naman kami but ok na rin.. parang kami rin eh. we both exchange i love you's, lahat sinasabi nya sa kin.. he text me pag may dapat akong malaman. kinakamusta naman nya ako.

I'm just upset with my friends. Coz ayaw nila kay Bullit. Welll, alam ko concern lang sila para sa akin.. but I hope they'll give him a second chance and I'm hoping that Bullit wouldn't mess with my life again.

God knows how much I love him.

Kung tutuusin, sobra-sobra talaga tong pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Sana, wag na nya ako iiwan. Wag na siyang umalis. Natatakot ako pag iniwan na naman nya ako.. sana wag na nyang gagawin sa kin ulit yon.

Jun 29, 2003

I don't know kung nagpapakainsensitive ka or talagang wala kang pakialam. Ganyan ka ba talaga? U can't fight for something you want? Marunong ka din bang magselos? How could you ask me na kiss lang yon?! Ano ba ako sayo? So, it's ok with you na kahit kaninong lalaki ako makipaghalikan? Tingin mo, tama ba yon? and what do you think about me? wala akong feelings? tingin mo di ako nagseselos?! alam mo lang kasi na mahal kita kaya papetiks-petiks ka lang. Balewala sayo lahat.. balewala sayo kung may lumandi sa'king ibang lalaki kasi alam mo na sayo pa din ang bagsak ko.. na alam mo na di ko sila papatulan. You really trust me hah!? nakakapikon!! naiinis ako sayo! bakit ka ganyan? masyado kang open para sa kin.. masyado mo akong pinapabayaan. wala akong nafifeel na secured ako sayo.
sino ba namang tao ang di maiinis sa ginagawa mo? at bakit dyan na naman matutulog ang babaeng yan. dapat pauwiin mo na yan! ano ba yan? may bahay naman sila ah!
you're asking me if I trust you... shit! i don't know kung ano pa ang masasabi ko... i'm afraid na gawin mo ulit yung ginawa mo sa kin dati. i'm afraid that this is not going to work. bakit mo ako ginaganito? wala naman akong ginawang masama sayo ah. minahal kita. sobrang pagmamahal ang binigay ko sayo. di kita inapi kahit kelan.
bakit ganyan ka ngayon? sabi mo you will wait for me.. na you want me back.. now that I'm free bakit parang bumaliktad ang sitwasyon? bakit ako ngayon ang naghihintay sayo? bakit ako ang naghahabol sayo?!

Apr 9, 2003

grabe! text ever kami ni bullit kanina.
namimiss ko na siya pero ang kapal naman ng mukha nya na ganon pa ang gagawin na ha!
tama ba namang magyaya si gago. ang kapal talaga! muntik ko na ngang mabara eh.

tangina talaga siya!

Jan 27, 2003

A co-tanod is pm'ing me.
I wonder why. Bakit nga kaya?
I watch Mel and Jay before I go to the mass.
the astrologer says that this is a lucky year for me too.. swerte daw ako sa lovelife ngayon.
I've been praying so much na bumalik na siya sa akin.
I keep on asking God why did it happen to us.
Why is it so easy for him to let me go.
Mas importante nga ba sa kanya ang career nya or may iba na siya?
Why do we have to do "it" kung meron na siyang iba.
Hay! I feel miserable.
I should not be doing that. I know that i was making love.. but for him, I know it's only a sex thing.
hay! why does we have to end this way.
Watch movie awhile ago.. Hot Chick. Nakakatawa talaga.
Hay! I feel like crying again. Kanina pa!
If we both watch that movie, siguro yung tawa naming 2 ang pinakamalakas sa loob ng sinehan.
I really miss him but I have to forget him.
Tama na talaga tong pagmamahal na to.

I talk to mama kanina. I told her na bigyan na ako ng sweldo.
As in super kapal na nga ng mukha ko but I have too.
I've been working for 3 fucking long years and I haven't receive any salary.
As in purdoy na talaga ako.
I get 3T bucks kanina.. 2T for Xenical, 1 T for my eyeglass.
Thanks God. May eyeglass na ako but 1,500 bucks ang pagawa ko.
So, she still owes me 500. hehehe!!
I really need the money coz I want to buy a new vcd player.
My old vcd player broke down when I brought it to Bicol.
Hay! I miss watching movies in my room.

Jan 26, 2003

Got to work.
I don't have money anymore.
Got no resource too.

I feel like I don't have a career.
Kung wala pa ding progress.
I have a plan to go to Belgium or US next year.

I should be thinking about myself now.
Enough for them.
I have to be successful on my own.
I gotta have a new life now that he's gone.
I've been missing him so much.
I wish he will come back to me.
I'll be waiting til April. Pag di kami nagkabalikan. I guess, I have to move on.
Hay! I'm thinking about him again.

I should have call him but eto na naman ang pride ko. I really want to forget him and maybe what I am doing is right for us.
Do you still love me bullit?
I have always been loving you but that love can't change my hatred.
I hate you and your friends.
you deceived me.