4 months ago, I decided to quit playing gunbound. Actually, di naman talaga quit to the max na i-a-uninstall ko siya sa pc kasi ako na ulit ang gm ng D.end pero ang consequence is.. di na active lahat ng members. Drew joined other guild, ok lang. Sayang lang yung sinimulan nya. It's because of him why I pursue myself to take care of the guild while he was "away". It's kindda disappointing when he left us... but as I have said, it's OK.
For 4 months.. ang dami kong nagawa. Mas naging close kami ng sister and brothers ko. I have more time for my family now.. di lang sa family kundi sa madaming bagay. Naayos ko na din ang bahay ko... Actually, I'm not asking for more. I'm blessed with my family.. and my business is doing good.
Although zero lovelife ako ngayon, parang ok lang. Hindi ko naman hinahanap and it's not a big deal for me kung wala. Nae-enjoy ko yung pagiging isolated ko sa ibang tao, mas lalo na sa ibang nakilala ko sa gunbound. Yeah, I still have hatred with some people.. it may took long for me to forget about it. It hurts when you are betrayed by a 'friend'. Oh well.. naging friend ba talaga ako sa kanila? But I'm still thankful that I met those assholes, atleast I'd learned something.
Aug 30, 2006
Out of Bound
Aug 17, 2006
test .. test .. test..
Personality test addict as I may say.. This is what I usually do whenever I'm bored.
| You Are 26% Evil |
 A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil. |
whoa...
| Your Five Variable Love Profile |
 Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium. In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is medium. You tend to be the one with more power. You aren't a total control freak in relationships.. But of course you don't mind getting you way! Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is high. You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love. Having your own life is very important for you... Even more important than having a relationship. |
Are You Ready To Date Again?
| You are Ready to Date Again |
 If you're not out there already, you should be. Your ex is long gone from your heart, and you are ready for another relationship. Any guy you meet gets a clean slate - and no emotional baggage. Congratulations, you've gotten completely over him. Now, on to a better guy :-) It's time for you to start dating! Post your photo and profile on a bunch of personals sites. Before long, you won't have any more lonely Saturday nights. |
hmmm... I'm a bit surprised. :)
anyway.. do I really need a knight in shining armor?
I guess I need to take another test..
| You Don't Need a Man, but You Want One! |
 You like having a guy in your life, and overall, you prefer not to be single. You won't go out with a guy out of desperation.. you rather be alone. However, when you're single, you do tend to obsess a little over dating. Because no matter how good your single life is, it's better with a great guy around. |
funny.. wahahaha!
Aug 15, 2006
Cross Your Fingers With Me
I got sick for 2 days last week. Overfatigue and heartaches strikes me. I lost my defenses, no doubt.. it's really a knock out.
I've been depressed for the past years, insanely mad with life for the past few month. I guess, I live so much in the past and I forget that there's a brighther tomorrow even if he's gone. Before I got sick, I dreamt so much about flying. My bestfriend's interpretation about flying in dreams is that the dreamer wants to escape. Escape from what? My business is doin' good, I have a wonderful family. So what's the reason for me to 'escape'? I've been evaluating myself, my feelings for someone, and then I realized that I didn't succeed to forget him. My stuggles begins (again), I thought I'm done with the Bullit thing and I wonder what is wrong again.. I realized how can someone move on when she's trying to run away from it.
A weeks before I got sick, I called him on the phone... I don't know what happen, I just found myself telling him that I'm still madly inlove with him BUT I have no intentions for a reconciliation. I just want to let him know my feelings.. and what life would be if I chosed Chris better than him. I let him know my frustrations and the pain I've gone through of losing him. He was my world, my happiness, my everything. How could he left me defenseless from pain and loneliness. My soul was crying but not confused.
A week or so, I woke finding myself sleeping on a messy room... living on a dirty house. I keep on mumbling.. "Anong nangyari sayo Jo? Anong nangyari sa bahay? San ka nagpunta?" I decided for a general cleaning. There I saw our diaries, loveletters, those chocolate and roses boxes I kept. I recall that it is the reason why I am avoiding to clean the house for the past years. I can't help myself not to look at those again.. those things that I know will hurt and makes me cry. It took me 8 hours cleaning (5 hours for cleaning, and 3 hrs for reminiscing and crying)... duh.. as if I'm living on a big house. It's a messy house.. and I have a messy lovelife..
It's a very tiring day but I still managed myselt to go to the shop. (It's a punishment for me for not cleaning the house for decades!... just joking) Then I got sick a day after that.
Right at this moment, I don't feel depress anymore. I can't say that I have no feelings for Bullit but I think I'm starting to move on.
I want myself to be healed not by hatred nor having a relationship again.
I know it's not too late for me.. I'll keep my (hand and toe) fingers cross.
I've been depressed for the past years, insanely mad with life for the past few month. I guess, I live so much in the past and I forget that there's a brighther tomorrow even if he's gone. Before I got sick, I dreamt so much about flying. My bestfriend's interpretation about flying in dreams is that the dreamer wants to escape. Escape from what? My business is doin' good, I have a wonderful family. So what's the reason for me to 'escape'? I've been evaluating myself, my feelings for someone, and then I realized that I didn't succeed to forget him. My stuggles begins (again), I thought I'm done with the Bullit thing and I wonder what is wrong again.. I realized how can someone move on when she's trying to run away from it.
A weeks before I got sick, I called him on the phone... I don't know what happen, I just found myself telling him that I'm still madly inlove with him BUT I have no intentions for a reconciliation. I just want to let him know my feelings.. and what life would be if I chosed Chris better than him. I let him know my frustrations and the pain I've gone through of losing him. He was my world, my happiness, my everything. How could he left me defenseless from pain and loneliness. My soul was crying but not confused.
A week or so, I woke finding myself sleeping on a messy room... living on a dirty house. I keep on mumbling.. "Anong nangyari sayo Jo? Anong nangyari sa bahay? San ka nagpunta?" I decided for a general cleaning. There I saw our diaries, loveletters, those chocolate and roses boxes I kept. I recall that it is the reason why I am avoiding to clean the house for the past years. I can't help myself not to look at those again.. those things that I know will hurt and makes me cry. It took me 8 hours cleaning (5 hours for cleaning, and 3 hrs for reminiscing and crying)... duh.. as if I'm living on a big house. It's a messy house.. and I have a messy lovelife..
It's a very tiring day but I still managed myselt to go to the shop. (It's a punishment for me for not cleaning the house for decades!... just joking) Then I got sick a day after that.
Right at this moment, I don't feel depress anymore. I can't say that I have no feelings for Bullit but I think I'm starting to move on.
I want myself to be healed not by hatred nor having a relationship again.
I know it's not too late for me.. I'll keep my (hand and toe) fingers cross.
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