Oh yeah.. I'm bored

Wala kong magawa dito sa shop... It's sunday today kaya medyo konti ang customer. Ka-bored.. narereminisce ako.. naiisip ko na naman si Bullit. Hayz.. ano pa ba. Why do I keep on hanging on to someone na alam kong wala ng patutunguhan. I feel pathetic. I really enjoy his company.

We went out yesterday, nagpagawa kami ng celfone sa Greenhils tapos manonood sana kami ng sine kaso di natuloy kasi di na puede sa sched namin yung showing time. So, nagstroll na lang kami sa Cubao. Nung pauwi na kami, malapit sa kanila may manhole na alang takip.. He warned me na may butas.. sabi ko nakita ko.. ang ganda pa ng sagot ko "yes yes yo" pa.. Pero nahulog pa din kami. Napagalitan ako ni panget pero bago siya bumaba.. tinawanan na lang namin yung nangyari... as in we both laugh hard.. hanggang di kami makahinga.. Nira-rap pa nya yung pagkakahulog namin sa manhole.

"Yo.. yes yes yo!
nakita ko yung butas yo!
nahulog pa din ako yo!"

Narealize ko, ang tagal ko palang di nakatawa ng sobra, na parang kala mo bawal ng tumawa bukas.

After ng tawanan.. balik ako sa dati. Malungkot.. nag iisip.. Hanggang kelan to? Para kasing kahati ng buhay ko si Bullit. Parang hindi kumpleto pag wala na siya. I know may bago na naman siyang "apple of the eye." Although masakit pero sanay na ko. Naiisip ko.. pag nagsawa siya don, babalik din siya.

2 months ago, nachallenge siya nung bumalik si Perci. For almost 2 months, dito siya natutulog sa bahay. Hindi ako iniiwan. Last month, sinabi nya mahal pa din nya ako. He talked about marriage.. yung mga doubts nya pati frustrations. Sanay na ko sa ganong tagpo.. Hindi ako masyadong umasa. I was there at his side as a friend.. who understands, love, and accepts him for being human. I feel complete with the thoughts that he's here with me.. I've been longing for that moment to happen... again. I love him ... kahit ganyan siya.

I remember last month, we're about to watch a movie. While falling in line, he kissed me at my forehead. It was a simple kiss, pero randam ko yung pagmamahal nya. I want to reciprocate it but I'm too overwhelmed with the love I am feeling at that moment.
It was a lovely day.. Hindi ko makakalimutan yung araw na yon.

Oh my God.. I'm too emotional again.

I was browsing the internet awhile ago.. nakita ko tong romantic compatibility sa yahoo.com.
So.. di na ko nagtataka ngayon kung bakit ako ganito.

Pisces & Cancer
A love match between a Cancer and a Pisces is a positive meeting of spirits. Both signs are basically tolerant and sympathetic, and Pisces is easily energized by Cancer's ideas. A Pisces mate can open a Cancer's eyes to the world of creativity and spirituality. In turn, Cancer's practicality can be a guide, leading Pisces to the fruition of their dreamy, utopian ideas. This celestial pairing benefits from an amazingly strong and multifaceted emotional bond.
Cancer loves material goods, they admire and they appreciate. Cancer desires comfort and a rich home, and at times might not understand the simplistic, minimalist lifestyle of their Pisces mate. Though they may work toward different goals of acquisition and lifestyle, the shared emotional depth of Cancer and Pisces can make theirs a very rewarding relationship.

The Moon (Emotion) rules Cancer, and Jupiter (Philosophy) and Neptune (Illusion and Dreams) rules Pisces. When the Moon and Neptune come together, a beautiful spiritual connection is made. Both of these celestial bodies vibrate with warm, feminine energy. Together, they create an idealistic, almost divine relationship, one that puts much significance on dreams and illusions. Jupiter also rules Pisces. This Planet of Good Fortune adds a masculine energy to this planetary combination, representing philosophy, expansion and excesses. The nature of this combination offers a utopian relationship: It is drenched in emotional intrigue and is a true celestial bond. Emotion, depth, warmth, expansion -- it all sounds too good to be true, doesn't it. Though they both ask a lot of their love relationships, Cancer must be careful not to cramp the floating Fish, as Pisces will suffocate under too many demands.

Cancer and Pisces are both Water Signs. Since Water is a tangible, physical entity, Cancer and Pisces are generally very compatible. Pisces are in this world to create human connections, and when they come together with Cancerian intuition and nurturing, there is no stronger bond. So that this union does not wash out in a stream of romantic idealism, Cancer's stable view of life holds them afloat. And it's not a case of Cancer putting up with a dreamy Pisces mate: Cancer really understands emotional ambiguity and can help Pisces stabilize their ephemeral nature. Though Cancer could grow weary of their Pisces mate's faraway nature, and though Pisces could be bothered by Cancer's self-centeredness, it's easy for this pair to find a compromise.
Cancer is a Cardinal Sign, and Pisces is a Mutable Sign. Though intuitive, in love, as in life, Cancer likes to get things moving with a good idea and a solid plan, and they'll write it all down to keep track. Pisces, on the other hand, is more about going on instinct; they'd lose that plan as soon as Cancer handed it to them! Cancer needs to give Pisces the freedom to enjoy their external interests and to occasionally follow a whim undeterred. Pisces can show Cancer that completion is sometimes better than initiation, and that compromise without struggle can pay off. Cancer and Pisces feed off of each other's energy well, and should be completely compatible in romance.

What's the best thing about the Cancer-Pisces love match? Their similar emotional natures. Both have a great capacity for emotion and compassion, and both can act as teacher AND student. They complement and harmonize with one another very well. The overall empathy and commitment that these two Signs value in a relationship is what will keep the ties strong and long lasting between the Crab and the Fish.

Busy Busy-han

Everytime na nagba-blog ako, it took me awhile thinking kung ano bang magandang title. Ngayon ko lang narealize, 2 years na din pala ko sa blog world.
Kamusta na kaya ang mga blog mates and alimasag friends ko? Antagal ko na palang hindi nakakalabas with them. Medyo may problema pa ko dito sa blogskin ko.. di kasi kami magpang abot ni Ate Thess. Di ko talaga alam kung pano ilalagay yung comment box. Ang tagal ko ng gustong sumagot sa shout box kaso bakit laging sinasabi.. Cookies Deactivated
Pano ba tatanggalin yang cookies cookies na yan!! Kelangan ko ata si Cookie Monster para matanggal yan.. Grrrr.... baka sabihin ng mga friends ko.. Inii-snob ko na sila.

Mostly, ang gimik ko lang is with my family and Bullit's family... at laging sa mga department store lang pero last saturday, pumunta kami sa Enchanted Kingdom ng family ni Bullit. Namiss ko yung
Anchor's away... Weeee!! 3 times sunod-sunod ako sumakay kaya kinabukasan nananakit pa din ang ulo ko. Nakakatanggal lang talaga ng stress. Naiba din ang hangin na nilalanghap ko.

I'm planning for a reunion with the alimasag peeps this month, nandito na ata si Lara sa Pinas. Aayusin ko muna ang sched ko for that. Grabe.. parang last month lang kami nakipag-eb kay Lara.. Ang bilis ng panahon!! August na pala!!

Ate, if you're reading this... I Miss You So Much. Di ako maka-tag sa shoutbox mo, so dito na lang kita babatiin ha...

Happy Birthday Ate Thess!!!!!

Me and Ate Thess

Taken last year on our first meeting at Greenbelt, Makati.

Busy talaga ko... It's not because addict ako sa mga internet games.. Hindi lang talaga ako makaalis dito sa shop. I have an assistant pero pero pag saturday and sunday lang nya ko natutulungan dito sa shop kasi nag-aaral pa siya. Ang trabaho lang nya sa kin pag weekdays is maglinis ng shop pag morning tapos papalitan ko sya ng 10 am kasi may pasok pa siya ng 1 pm. Pag dito naman sa shop. Di rin ako nakakalaro masyado kasi madaming nagre-rent ng pc. Kaya nakikinood na lang ako ng laro nila. Nakaka-jive din naman ako sa mga kids kasi naglalaro na din ako pag konti na lang ang customers. Part din ng trabaho to.. Lahat ata ng online games may account ako kahit ayaw ko laruin. Minsan kelangan mo lang malaman yung laro nila para just in case na may magtatanong or magpapaturo, alam ko yung gagawin ko. Nakakatuwa din minsan. Isipin mo.. part ng trabaho is yung naglalaro ka.... but not all the time puro sarap. There are times na walang connection sa internet katulad kanina. 11 am na ata nagkaron. Minsan mahirap din pag nasira ang hub, router, or part ng pc. Medyo mahal ang kapalit. Since nagka dsl ako last feb.. 2 times na kong nagpalit ng router and hub. Sakit sa bulsa. Under warranty naman pero bumili pa din ako, just in case na masira ulit eh may kapalit agad. Right now, isang pc ko ang bumigay ang board. Yon pa lang ang suspetsa namin kasi di pa nabalik ang technician ko. Ayaw ko na lang muna magreklamo. For 1 1/2 year running this business, ang dami ko ding natutunan. One of it is PATIENCE... ah.. pati na din ang pagiging maagap, syempre technically madami din akong natutunan mas lalo na sa pag alis alis ng hardware.. Pag technical na ang problema sa mga pc, nanghihinayang ako minsan kasi sana computer science or comp tech na lang sana ang kinuha ko nung college. Pero ok lang.. every day is a challenge for me to keep this shop running.

Letting Go Of The Past

Hmmm almost a month na din pala kaming hiwalay ni Perci..
I dont know what happen. Basta bigla na lang nawala, hindi ko na naramdaman. Siguro dahil may gumising sa kin na mali ang ginagawa ko.. or narealized ko na mali talaga. Siguro, narealized ko lang kasi kahit naman dati alam ko kung ano ang tama pero ginawa ko pa din yung mali.
I haven't talk to him since last week. Di ko alam yung feeling eh. Ayoko lang siguro siyang paasahin na magbabago pa ang isip ko OR baka iniiwas ko lang ang sarili ko sa mas malaking gulo.

Masaya naman ako nung magkasama kami. Actually, ok sana yung rapport namin eh. Pero naiisip ko, baka sa umpisa lang. Hanggang sa dumaan yung mga araw, napansin ko na magkaiba kami ng mundong ginagalawan. Hindi ko kayang kainin ang prinsipyo ko kapalit ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Dati galit na galit ako sa mga babaeng pumapatol sa mga may asawa na, mas lalo na sa mga dalaga pa lang.. Parang nakita ko yung sarili ko sa sitwasyon na yon. So.. I let it go. Alam kong mas may future pa ko sa iba.

Di ko maintindihan yung nararamdaman ko.. Feeling ko mas matatag na ko ngayon. Sa dami ba naman ng dinanas ko kay Bullit.. parang chicken na lang sa kin to.

Mas may peace of mind ako ngayon.

Di ko naman nireregret yung nameet ko ulit si Perci kasi may maganda ding nangyari. Siguro nga kelangan talaga na dumating siya para marealize ni Bullit kung anong worth ko. Para narekindled eh.

Ayaw ko muna magsalita ng tapos.. Basta, bahala na muna. Hindi ganon kadali para sa min ni Bullit yung mag-heal sa lahat ng nangyari sa min for 4 yrs... siguro mas lalo na sa part ko. Pero ano bang magagawa ko kung sa lahat na lang ng nangyayari.. sa isa't isa pa din ang bagsak naming dalawa?

Bahala na muna si Batman.