Drowning

I don't know why I feel so broken hearted today.

• Was it because Achilles passed away, due to a vehicular accident.

I'm so sorry for my baby Achilles.. I'll surely miss him. I'll be missing those nights that he's here with me on my shop... barking on those pangets. I'll miss his company. Last night before I went home, he was here with me.. I was browsing on Alimasag, looking for someone's post and I felt like crying.. He was watching me.. and I felt his body on my legs.. maybe he's telling me not to cry.. I looked down on him and smiled with teary eyes.. I told him.. "Sige achilles, dito ka lang ha.. Bantayan mo ko. Wag mo kong iiwan ha" and I stroke my hand gently on his head. Yon na pala yung last na lambing nya sa kin.

• or.. was it the same old Bullit heartaches again.

I'm trying to analize why am I feelin' this way. Siguro combination nila.

I'm sensing something wrong.. Basta, I feel so down and I thank that alimasag people is there to fill up my mind.

Whenever I think of him today, I feel like my heart is crushing and I keep on holding back to the memories where our relationship started and how it break apart.. I'm messed up, feeling screwed again. And this question keeps filling up my head.. "Why do you keep holding on to someone who no longer loves you. What's fucking wrong with you?! I have this feeling that I want to go back.. go back to the days that I'm so carefree. Sometimes before I go to sleep.. I often ask myself with..

• What would be my life right now if I didn't meet him? ~natuloy kaya yung kasal namin ni -----

Oh love... love is such a crazy game.