Back on the limelight again

after the big blow from Bullit last week that makes me feel depress so much...
that makes me decide to isolate myself from the outside world for awhile.
I know it doesn't make any sense coz it wouldn't leave me behind.. so what the heck! I have a life of my own.. Why do I have to suffer on something I didn't do.
Hell! I just love him so much that's why I am so affected.

Well, I should still be thankful:


for the sun..
for the moon..
for the sky so blue at night..
for the stars, that I've been longing to see when I'm feelin' blue...
for the air that I breathe..
for the rain..
for the water..
for my vitamins to keep me away from flu..
for my friends who keeps on praying for me..
To God who give this all to me..
for my computers, that gives me simoleons to keep me going..
for my customers...
for my mom, who let me borrow her diamond earrings on my friends wedding.. I realized, I have to invest on jewelries..
for my sister, for letting me borrow Chi-chi for awhile and accompanying me to buy a skirt and shoes awhile ago..
To Joshua, for his sarcastic remarks na sapul ako palagi..
to my brothers.. na puro kakulitan ang inaabot ko..
to Bullit, who gave me a 3100 celfone.. and giving me so much pain and loneliness..
to Bullit, whom I love so much but doesn't deserve anything from me at all...
to Bullit.. for all those happy moments and love we shared..
for my ex's.. and their wives and babies..
for this celfone, that makes me escape me for awhile...
for my dvd player who accompany me when I am bored..
for those songs who makes me sad and makes me feel worst sometimes.. but not them all...
for the creator and supporters of Blogspot...
for the Alimasag friends and administrator...
for Yahoo messenger, where i can get intouch with my friends..
for that bastard who get the key in my house, coz if not from him.. I wouldn't be blogging...
for my bed and pillows, that gives me comfort at night..
for my kumot, that keeps me warm at cold nights and stay me away from mosquito bites..
for the aircon, that keeps my shop cool...
for the electricity...
for my electric fans..
for this mouse...
for this keyboard..
for my television set...
for this dress i wore today.. sige.. lahat na lang ng outfit ko for everyday....
for GPRS!...
thanks to my friend, for inviting me on her wedding coz na-unwind ako..
thanks to Globe telecom...
for San mig light.. knocks me off to bed agad...
for the medicines I'm taking everyday to keep me alive...

Did I miss something?..

forgive me for those things I missed. Tao lang po.

I miss myself so much..
I miss the lady who stand after something hit her...
The lady who never escape the world..

I'm still feelin' broken....

I panic when something wrong happen..
I mourn when there's nothing to mourn for...
I got easily affected with something that doesn't matter on my life anymore.
I can't even fight for myself..
I can't even show him how mad I am..
or tell him how that I can't understand it anymore..
or maybe tell him it's over.. let's stop fooling around.

I'm too confused.. afraid.. and still devastated...

Sometimes, I wonder..

...... How could people get along with me?