Self Help

I saw this article on Women's Journal..
It kindda help alot. 
 
The Positive Side of Breakups
by: Sheila Mateo
 
When you're inlove, you tend to do the craziest things that your never thought you were capable of doing.  You act carelessly, not thinking of the consequences.  In your mind, you have a forever romance - and the man in your life is a permanent resident.
 
Until your relationship runs aground, that is.  Only then do you realize that you have not been paying attention to the signs.  They have been there all along with potent messages that you chose to ignore.  When your world suddenly collapses, your magical love story ending in a tragic twist, it is as if you have been hit by a ton of bricks.
 
Fortunately, there's life after a breakup.  Painful though it may seem, the experience may, in fact, turn out to be a blessing.
A split could be a way of rediscovering that part of you that you had lost while you were in love.  And you, of course, there are some precious lessons to be learned in the wake of a breakup.  These includes the following:
 
~ You have limitations, just like everyone else.
 
When you're blissfully in love, you become forgiving to a fault.  You are ready to sacrifice everything.  You ignore what others say and disregard objective advice from the people around you.  When your partner attack you, whether mentally, physically, emotionally, you take the blows silently. 
But everyone, including you, must reach this threshold-that breaking point when you finally muster enough courage to bail out and call it quits.
After this, you rediscover your old self, take control of your life again.
 
~ You, too, have shortcomings.
I don't want to skip any thing on this... it's all true.... sad but true.
 
In your quest for the ideal relationship, you may find yourself setting standards that are too high for you and your man to meet.  In many cases, unrealistic expectations have caused romance to fizzle out.
So, he's constantly occupied with work and doesn't find time for you anymore.  You begin to demand for his attention, picking fights in order to whip him into submission.  This eventually stresses him out and strains the relationship, until you both realize that you can never again be happy together. 
And once the relationship is over, you realize that you are partly to blame, too, for the deminise of your romance.  You reflect on things went wrong and remember your own faults.  You were too narrow-minded, refusing to understand that he had no choice but to deliver what his job demanded.  You were possessive, paranoid, jealous and self-centered.
The beauty of a breakup is that it allows you to look back and realize your mistakes.  This way, you'll come out a better person fot the next chapter of your love life.
 
~ You have other priorities besides love.
 
Love has a way pof making you drop your priorities one by one your partner becomes the center of your universe.  You go out of your way to make him feel special, running errand and giving him small "no occasion" gifts.
The minute you break up, you have a wake-up call.  You begin to be aware of the opportunites that you allowed to slip away and the breaks that you ignored because you were too caught up with his welfare, too wrapped up in your relationship. 
With him gone now, you can devote your time to personal pursuits-a steady career, financially independence, creative projects, and making friends. 
 
~ You can cushion the impact of a breakup.
 
The fear of losing the person you love can drive you to do terrible things to your relationship.  It can make you illogically jealous, or lead you to smother him with affection so he won't think of straying.  Utter fear can even cause a relationship to die before it reaches its full bloom.
Once your greatest fear actually happens, you realize that it would have been better if you had not loved him that much.  In which case, the pain would have been much more bearable. 
But it's over and all that is left for you to do is to start letting go.  If you have trust in yourself, you'll be over him-and ready to love again -- sooner than you expect.
 
~ You can confide in other people.
 
When you're romantically attached, you shudder the thought of losing the person you love.  That's why you cling to the relationship despite his shabby treatment, his acts of disloyalty.
What you don't know is that you are better off living alone than holding on to a partner for the wrong reasons.  You may find this difficult to accept in the beginning, but soon enough, you will find that being single can be enjoyable again. 
You will also realize that there are people around you who can help you get over the pain.  Count on your friends and relatives to be by your side when the going gets tough.  They'll always be ready to listen to what you want to say.
 
~ You hold the key to your own happiness.
 
Love has a way of robbing you of reason.  Thus, you allow yourself to be emotionally enslaved by your partner.  You let him call the shots and give him the authority to decide on your behalf.  As such, you end up feeling weak without him. 
A breakup lets you recover from the illusion that your man holds your happiness, until you remember that you were happy before he came into your life.  After which, you realize that you can be happy again without him. 
 
~ You can start all over again.
 
Love is not to be-all and end all of your existence.  It the romance you have carefully nurtured through the years suddenly withered, it doesn't mean your world ends right there.
Don't take to drinking to ease the pain.  Even suicide doesn't count as an escape.  Don't let the trauma of a breakup harden your heart and allow bitterness and hatred to consume you.  Instead, open your world to the possibilities of life.
Think of it this way:  It was his loss, not yours.  His absence leaves a vacuum but only because your "true love" is on his way to fill it up. 
 
____________________
 
Lately, we've been texting a lot, sometimes he calls me on my landline..  just checking if I'm ok... or what am I doing.. Maybe I'm overwhelmed with what he' s doing and having the thought of.. "what if we reconciled again"..  at may babawi na... "scrap the thought of it.." 
On his last text to me awhile ago, he asked me... "Teka, may tanong lang ako, Di naman ako ang pinakamatagal na naging bf mo, di ba ? Ewan, pero bigla lang pumasok sa isip ko eh"  Gusto ko sanang sagutin ng "ano na naman bang kagaguhang tanong yan?" but then.. I still replied him nicely.. "yup.. ikaw.  bakit?"  He thought it was Jun.. yung pumunta ng Hawaii.  I was thinking na .. sana si Jun na nga lang..  but still, I replied.. "Nyeh! taon ang binilang ng friendship namin non bago kami naging magbf.. Sige na.. matulog ka na nga."  Di na ako nagsabi ng goodnight kasi iniba nya ang timpla ng gabi ko.  
How could he ask me that kind of question so easily?  Grr!!  I'm so kaka naiinis to you Bullit.  Hay! kung hindi lang kita mahal.  tsk tsk tsk... 
Gaga ko talaga... at gago ka din naman.  >:(
Sometimes he doesn't know that he's already crossing the line..  Pero ganyan na talaga siya eh. 
If I'll be asked kung mahal ko pa siya.. Syempre! oo ang sagot ko!  pero yung tanong eh kung willing akong makipagbalikan.. ay... iisipin ko muna. 
I'm happy with my life right now. 
Di ko na nga alam kung saan ko ilalagay yung mga problema sa sarili ko..
di ko na nga din alam kung pano ako magkakatime for myself.. tapos idadagdag ko pa siya.  Ni simpleng pagbubunot ng kilay eh ginagawan ko pa ng schedule.
Abah! baka di na ako matulog nyan!!
 
I love that article..  sapul na sapul ako.. tagos buto!  Ganyan na ganyan yung nangyari eh..  Nakakatuwang isipin na di pala ako nag-iisa.  Atleast, lumuwag ang pakiramdam ko after reading that.  Somehow, it's not only me who's alone and mending a broken and badly damage heart!  hahaha!!  Now, I'm laughing to myself.  Magandang pangitain to..
 
I might be moving on too slowly... but hey!
I'm taking it surely.  ;)